Holy Shrek!

For those of you that don’t regularly frequent the American Movie Theaters (AMC), I recently found out that during the summer of 2010 they are offering half price tickets to all weekday movies. This offer, combined with free popcorn Wednesdays, made my recent trip to the theater a value driven decision. Of course, it should be noted that half price for a movie ticket is still $5.50. And a free popcorn bag gets you almost about enough kernels to make a respectable mess on the theater floor. So, $11 seems like a reasonable price for a date night. But wait, there’s more! For whatever reason, a movie in 3D costs $8.25. Assuming this is the half price cost of the ticket I guess weekend moviegoers pay $16.50 for the privilege of watching animation come to life.

As you have probably read from my previous review of Avatar I like the idea of 3D movies. Maybe I should say “I liked” the idea of 3D movies because this is just getting out of hand. Not every movie needs to be in 3D. When a movie is specifically filmed in that format it can be an immersive and fun experience. When a movie is retro-fit to the format it is just overpriced. The Readers Digest version of retrofit 3D is that the original print of the film is overlaid by a second print of the film. The glasses have two different lenses which then provide a unique view of the film for each eye. When your two eyes have a different view of the same subject it creates the illusion of depth.

While a retrofit 3D print of a movie uses the same print laid on top of itself, a movie filmed for 3D actually uses two cameras to shoot a scene from slightly different perspectives. As you can imagine, this is both costly and time consuming. My guess would be that the actors would have a period of adjustment like they are reading the news and never quite sure which camera to look at. I am sure that a short acting lesson from Ron Burgundy would make even the most seasoned actor more comfortable in front of the 3D cameras.

So now that we know how much I paid, what I ate, and how the magic of 3D is created, let’s roll the opening credits to Shrek Forever After. Shrek is an animated second cousin to The Hulk. Actually though, Fiona (Shrek’s wife) may also be related to the Hulk. If you think about it, both characters are normal bipeds that change from a socially accepted state into a green oversized cartoon. Anyway, Shrek has appeared in three previous movies, he has done some print work and I think he also had a Christmas special. If the money isn’t right, Shrek won’t get off the couch, so this is supposedly his last movie. What a way to go out!

The basic premise of this fourth Shrek film is that Shrek has no job. Ok, that is not the premise but other than Snow White are there any animated movies where the characters actually have jobs?

The real premise of the film is that Shrek has settled into a life much like that of Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. He has to deal with the same crying kids, screaming friends and overzealous tourists every day. So, in a sort of mid-green crisis he decides that he longs for the freedom to terrorize townspeople, fart, mud wrestle and skip to the soothing sounds of ABBA (these are the same reasons Matthew moved to San Francisco). In order to fulfill this desire Shrek has to make a deal with tiny magician Rumpelstiltskin (too bad Doug Henning wasn’t available) whereby exchanging a meaningless day in his childhood for a day in an alternate universe.

At this point, I was enjoying the movie and thinking that I could go along with this ruse as long as the writer remembers the principals we learned from Doc Brown. I will admit that everything I know about time travel I learned from Back to the Future. So what? Where did you get your knowledge of time travel? Emmett L. Brown is a Doctor.

When Shrek completes the deal with Rumpelstiltskin he is magically transported into a world where no one knows him, everyone is afraid of him and Rumpelstiltskin is the King of Far Far Away. Whoops! As it turns out, Rumpelstiltskin is an ENRON executive and the meaningless day in Shrek’s childhood turned out to be the day of his birth. So, Shrek was never born and thus he never saved Fiona and Rumpelstiltskin became King (there are some other important details in there that I am leaving out but I am reviewing the movie not summarizing it).

This may work for children (presumably the target audience for the film) but it doesn’t work for me! Assuming that Rumpelstiltskin took away the day of Shrek’s birth how can it be that he was not born? Shrek’s mother (the Jolly Green Giant’s sister?) was still pregnant with him for 9 months; did that just go away on the actual birth day? Did Rumpelstiltskin murder the baby Shrek? Let’s dissect the question in this manner – if Rumpelstiltskin had taken a different day from Shrek’s childhood wouldn’t Shrek have existed the day before and the day after? “I will take 21st Century Animated Philosophy for $2000 Alex.”

Moving past the pontification portion of the review, the film rumbled along with Shrek being forced to evade capture, find Fiona and make her fall in love with him all over again to save his future while also saving the alternate universe of Far Far Away.

Hold your breath...keep holding it...ten more seconds...you are getting close...three...two...almost there...one...

Shrek saved his future and Far Far Away. Thank goodness!

While the adventure was adventurous and the effects were special, the ending was a poke directly into the eye of the space time continuum. Shrek made the day trading deal with Rumpelstiltskin after losing his cool at his children’s birthday party and running away through the woods. When Shrek and Fiona kissed in the alternate universe, whereby voiding the day trading contract and saving both the actual present and an alternate present, he was transported from the alternate present to the actual past. Confused? So was I!

The film comes to a conclusion by sending Shrek back to the period during the birthday party so that he could tell Fiona he loves her and not embarrass himself in front of his children. Interestingly, Shrek arrives at the party in a spiritual sense with full knowledge of his adventures in the alternate universe. A quick pan shot outside of the party site showed Rumpelstiltskin who appeared to have no knowledge of his adventures in the alternate universe.

If Shrek arrived at the party in a spiritual sense (meaning his body was already there at the party the moment his alternate universe adventures ended) then he must have also left the magical deal site in the same sense. You couldn’t send the physical Shrek into the alternate universe but bring back only the spiritual Shrek.

Are you following me on this one? If Shrek did not physically leave the magical deal site but then spiritually returned to the birthday party prior to when he made the deal at the magical deal site...there are now two Shreks!

I am going to wrap this one up the only way possible:

“Great Scott!”

Warren