Wall-E, have you seen Matthew?

Matthew, Matthew, where art thou Matthew? I remember the days when Matthew was a regular contributor to this blog. I think the world was still in black and white back then!

I know there have been a lot of rumors flying around with regard to Matthew’s current whereabouts but I cannot confirm that he will (or will not) be a part of Matthew and Kate + 8.

So, those four sentences are my excuse for not posting anything on this blog in four months. Frankly, you deserve better.

Instead, you are getting Wall-E.

Why would a grown man with an inordinate amount of free time watch an animated Disney film sans dialogue? Excellent question. My answer; I was asleep about twenty minutes into the movie and woke up feeling refreshed just slightly before the credits. So, for the first time in the history of movie reviews I am going to review a movie I watched very little of. I have a lot of questions and comments with regard to the movie and I fully expect that most of these were answered during the roughly eighty minutes of the film that I did not see. Lucky you, you have chosen a great time to return to the Movies and Pop Culture blog!

As I previously mentioned, Wall-E is a Disney film and I think it was created in association with Al Gore pictures. What Disney has done here is pure genius. They have created a children’s film and inserted adult social commentary while also completely clearing themselves of any responsibility. The basic premise of Wall-E is that mankind polluted the Earth and had to take refuge in space until the planet could be cleaned up by small self-aware robots that look suspiciously like Number 5 from Short Circuit.

Let’s discuss that point, shall we? The future as seen through the eyes of Hollywood seems to fall into two categories. Either we will live in a wildly technological society filled with cute helpful robots that cater to our every need or we will live in a dark time and be hunted by scary, ugly, mean, well armed aliens. Frankly, it appears our future rests in the hands of a battle between B9 (Lost in Space, for those of you who forgot) and Zan-Do-Zan (The Last Starfighter, for those of you who forgot). I for one hope that ALF is the special guest referee in that match-up because we all know that he is firm but fair!

So, Wall-E looks suspiciously like Number 5. Why? Why would movies separated by twenty-two years use the same premise for a robot? What exactly are those things that Wall-E and Number 5 use as viewing devices (I don’t want to mistakenly call them eyes)? I think they might be golf course distance finders that have been converted to robot viewing devices but I am not sure that technology existed in 1986. I mean if we can’t come up with any original ideas when dreaming up the look of a futuristic robot we may be doomed to have every space ship called the Millennium Falcon and all time travel boosted by 1.21 Gigawatts of power.

Wall-E is a member of the clean up crew on Earth while mankind cruises around space waiting to safely return when the pollution problem has been solved. Wall-E seems to enjoy his work and is suspiciously curious and romantic considering his position as a robot. This is another part of Hollywood lore that lives on in pretty much every movie about the future. Apparently, our society is enamored with the idea of robots being self-aware.

The problem with Wall-E’s cleaning is that he appears to be the only one working. There are several early scenes in the film that show Wall-E driving around and doing his clean-up duty. In those scenes there are several similar model robots shown broken down, turned-off or abandoned amongst the accumulated trash. What happened to those robots? If (as the film led me to believe) there are no other robots still working, how has Wall-E continued to persevere? Are we to believe that his apparent self-awareness has also given him the ability to overcome physical obstacles (outliving his battery or the reliability of his solar panels)? In the future will robots be able to give 110%? Think about the philosophical ramifications of that question…could a machine programmed by a human achieve something beyond its programmed ability?

The other interesting thing that I noticed about Wall-E’s clean up is that he did work diligently and seemed to make a great amount of progress in trash compacting (it appears that the clean-up process consists of the robot putting rubbish into its belly and turning it into a rubbish square which is then stacked Lego style). What made this interesting to me was that while the film depicted Wall-E making tremendous progress it also depicted the planet as having made virtually no progress (most of the overview scenes were in and around the area Wall-E was stationed). So, if Wall-E can make a great amount of progress in a couple of days why hasn’t any real progress been made in the entirety of the clean-up process (taking into account all of the other robots that would have been doing the same work as Wall-E over an unknown period until their unexplained end)?

Skipping to the end of the film (because, as I previously mentioned, I spent about an hour of this movie presumably dreaming about Catherine Bach), what is left of the human race comes back to Earth from their refuge in space. It appeared to me that humans returned to Earth in order to get some much needed exercise and to stick a single bean stalk into the ground in the hopes of eventually trading the beans for a cow (what is a Movies and Pop Culture blog without a Joseph Jacobs reference). But why would the humans return to Earth? Is life on an abandoned, overgrown, polluted, dangerous planet better than life in space? What exactly is the message Disney is trying to convey here?

Did anyone else notice that on a planet overrun with trash and pollution there was apparently not one Disney related item depicted as being either trash or discarded? Just as an exercise, spend the day tomorrow looking around as you eat your meals, drive around town and work at your office and see how many Disney related items you notice (don’t forget those spin-offs and affiliated companies). I am willing to wager that you personally could fill up a garbage can with those items. Remember now, there are approximately 6.5 billion people currently living on Earth.

So there you have it. Disney has started an environmental sustainability dialogue amongst part-time movie bloggers while assuring children that their products share none of the responsibility. Genius I say, Genius!

Warren