Eat Your Heart Out - Phillip Michael Thomas

It has been almost a month and still there is no sign of Matthew. If I had not just seen him with my own two eyes I would think he might have abandoned me. Have you ever looked into the balcony and seen just Statler (or just Waldorf)? No, of course you haven’t! Here is what we need to do; ask yourself this “do I believe in fairies?” Trust me on this one. Stand up, wherever you are, and say “I believe in fairies!” Start a slow clap and continue saying “I believe in fairies.” You might feel a little awkward but this will work. Keep clapping and saying “I believe in fairies.” I know this brings Tinker Bell back to life, so this has to bring Matthew back to this blog!

Since my last blog welcomed you into the world of Las Vegas musical productions, I thought I would comment on my most recent venture into the world of musical theater. My lovely wife and I went to see Marvin Hamlisch perform with the Phoenix Symphony Orchestra. Of course it would be extremely difficult to review a musical performance without a plot or largely any talking (I guess I did review Quantum of Solace) but I was intrigued by something that happened half way through the show.

As a little background, Marvin Hamlisch is an accomplished pianist, conductor and song writer who has achieved the pinnacle of Phillip Michael Thomas’ mountain - the EGOT. Marvin has won an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and a Tony (He also won a Pulitzer but there is no such word as EGOTP). The performance we saw with Marvin and the Phoenix Symphony consisted of medley’s and performances of some of America’s great composers and a few selections from Marvin’s own collection (scores from Ice Castles, A Chorus Line, Sophie’s Choice, The Sting and The Way we Were).

I actually enjoyed the concert and Marvin was both an excellent piano player and also a witty master of ceremonies. You might imagine a middle-aged, white, Jewish, classically trained Young MC.

The one thing I did not like about the concert was the selections sung by William Michals and Julia Murney. First, Michals came out to sing Soliloquy from Carousel. This is actually an interesting song which I especially enjoyed on a CD of Frank Sinatra’s 80th Birthday Concert from Las Vegas. Michals is no Sinatra (that just sounds dumb, I mean who is Frank Sinatra). I don’t know much of anything about professional singing but he put way too much “over acting” into the song and not enough casual singing. I realize that they tell these musical performers to sing and pronounce the words for the people in the last row, but why is that? Why do they pander to the people who paid the absolute least amount of money to attend the concert to the detriment of the people who paid the most to attend? Re-reading that last sentence really makes me sound elitist. Ironically, I purchased two seats from the least expensive category!

Getting back to my review, Marvin decided to first introduce Michals with a simple “he is an accomplished performer who has earned his reputation on Broadway.” So, Michals came out and over-acted his way through his song and then proceeded to take about twenty bows. I clapped politely for this guy but when he just kept bowing I started to wonder if the crowd was really that impressed with the performance or if it was just a big game of one-upmanship between the bowing performer and the clapping audience members.

Once that clapping/bowing Russian Roulette ended, Michals was charged with introducing Julia Murney. This introduction turned into a ten minute love fest that then turned into a quandary that kept me occupied for the rest of the evening. I am sure that Murney is a talented performer who has worked hard for everything she has achieved; I just didn’t need Michals to read me her resume. I am sure her guest spots in Law and Order, NYPD Blue and Sex in the City were groundbreaking (Julia Murney stars as Innocent Bystander #2). I am sure her performances in The Wild Party, Class Act and Time and Again were well received; I just don’t care!

So, after the reading of Murney’s resume another game of one-upmanship broke out as she decided she needed to read Michals resume. And of course, as if on cue, every time Murney mentioned another part Michals had played he bowed as if he had some kind of turrets syndrome brought on by adulation. Meanwhile, I am looking around the audience to see if anyone else is agitated by this mess and I notice that the guy sitting next to me has his hand on the thigh of the guy sitting next to him!

Once the resume reading and bowing portions of the performance were done Murney broke into a song from the musical Wicked. I have never seen Wicked and I do not know the plot of this musical. I have seen the sequel to Wicked which is called The Wizard of Oz. I have also seen The Wiz (Richard Pryor was in The Wiz...where was Gene Wilder). As Murney explained prior to singing her song, Wicked is the story of Glenda the Good Witch and Elphaba the Green Witch (both were characters in The Wizard of Oz) as they go to Witch Junior College.

Murney proceeds to sing this song which tells the story of Elphaba being in class in Witch Junior College and the teacher recognizing her potential and telling her she is going to get to meet The Wizard of Oz. So, apparently this is really a big deal to Elphaba and she dreams of them teaming up to really maximize the Wizardry in Oz. Really? Seriously?

Again, I know it is weird to have so many of my reviews dedicated to films I have either not seen or fallen asleep during. I grant you that I have not seen Wicked and I don’t have any idea what happens in the musical either before or after this revelation that Elphaba wants to meet the Wizard. But, how did Elphaba think this dream team of witching and wizardry was going to work? Would she get a display wall opposite of the Wizard? Would her wall be next to the Wizard? How would the day to day business of Wizarding go if there were co-managers? What if someone needed a controversial wish granted, how would that be handled? Would the Wizard and Elphaba have some kind of voting process? What if the vote came out 1 to 1? How would ties be broken?

If there is one thing that fairy tales have taught us, it is that wishes and wish grantors always come in odd numbers. Zoltar granted Josh Baskin one wish, Jambi the Genie granted three wishes on Pee Wee’s Playhouse, Jack traded his cow for five magic beans, exactly 131 people saw the Patrick Swayze film Three Wishes, and my wish to rid the world of Heidi and Spencer has not come true exactly 999,999 times.

To wrap this one up, let me just mention that Marvin is also credited (in the concert program) for having composed the score to Three Men and a Baby. He must have some huge grapes to take credit for that one!

Warren